Mom planned the wedding. I was in exams. It was beautiful and memorable, etc., but had it been me doing the planning, it would have been a quiet ceremony with just family and a few friends. But that's my style... not my mom's. And it was fun (after a glass or two of champagne - I'm NOT a drinker, it was even more fun).
We were married in downtown New Orleans and stayed at one of the hotels in the French Quarter for a few days. We went to see 'Camelot' (the old musical with Richard Harris and Vanessa Redgrave). To this day I LOVE that movie. We saw it in the old Sanger Orleans theater on Canal St. (which is gone now... as well as most of the stores, etc. from that era).
Now 45 years, 3 children and 4 grandchildren down the road, I have to say that it hasn't all been fun, but it's been worth it... and I'd do it again in a minute. Recently I heard someone say that they were divorced because their marriage didn't turn out the way they had imagined. I remember thinking, "Really? and how many of them do?" But I personally think that sometimes if you ride out the bumps along the way, the new adventure turns out even better than you imagined. But that's a personal opinion and I didn't express it verbally.
Anyway, as we enter our retirement years, it's hard to believe that time has flown by so fast. And it frightens me to think that we might not always have each other. Maybe I think of this because my mom outlived my dad by 26 years. And I lost a good friend recently that outlived her husband by 20... and until she died, she would still tear up whenever she spoke of him. But this is life. We have to be strong, yes? And besides, my plan is to go first... selfish as it may be.
I hope you both go together, peacefully and quietly, how's that? :-) But not for a long time.
ReplyDeleteNo one's life turns out the way they imagine it will, I suspect. No matter whether one is married, divorced, single, etc. I think that if you can say you'd do it all over with the *same* person, in spite of all the...challenges...you're doing well. And I don't think that happens often in life.
Most women in our culture have more options today, and don't have to put up with the cr*p they had to in days gone by. We can take care of ourselves, if we so desire. Would that every woman on the planet had that *choice*.
As for me handling the minor house stuff...ha. I'm flipping out on the perimenopausal hormonal rage this weekend, over every little thing. :-p
I definitely agree that "women today don't have to put up with the cr*p they had to in days gone by"... but you do have to pick your battles. Some are definitely worth it, others aren't. And yes, every woman should have the *choice*!!
DeleteIf only we really did get to choose who goes first. I also plan to have hubby outlive me. You're right about sticking it out through thick and thin. I now know that my first husband and I could have made a go of it if I hadn't been so immature. But when I was young I was still looking for something that doesn't really exist. Today I realize my good fortune! :-)
ReplyDeleteDjan, I think some people are born wise. For most of us it takes almost a lifetime.
DeleteI'm with you Rian, who's marriage turns out the way we imagined, not many I think - but it's worth it!
ReplyDeleteI think your wedding photo is beautiful, congratulations on your 45 years together.
blessings,
Diana
Thanks Diana.
DeleteHappy Anniversary! I totally agree with your philosophy! However, we (I've been married for 46 years)were anticipating to stick it out; the younger generation has other plans.
ReplyDeleteI guess divorce in some cases is too easy an out...
DeleteAdorable photo. Congratulations on 45 years. Wow, 45 years! The spouse and I have been married a long time also.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nana. That's how I feel too... Wow, 45 years?? How many has it been for you?
DeleteCongrats on 45 years together...you were a very beautiful bride.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dee. I was 'young'... and look a bit dazed in the picture. But it might have been the champagne (hadn't eaten much that morning).
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