Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

This is my favorite picture of my mom. It was taken from a snapshot of her and my dad when they came to visit us here in Texas many years ago.  I loved my mom.  She was a wonderful person. However, we were very different. 

Mom was friendly (would talk to anyone about anything), sociable, and loved to dress up. She believed things were black and white - no in-between. We differed. While I'm not unfriendly, I tend to be quiet (more like my British dad), could care less about the social aspects of things, and really don't care to dress up. And when it came to black and white issues - IMO, everything is gray.

My mom was a good cook. Her signature dish (if one wants to call it that since we all requested it annually) was her oyster pie. We always had oyster pie (not oyster patties as is the norm in N.O.) on Thanksgiving and Christmas. She also made wonderful oyster stuffing. But I don't think mom liked to cook as such. She could cook, but it wasn't her favorite thing to do. And she kept an immaculate house. We used to call the front room 'the museum' when I was growing up. Of course in the 50's and 60's we had formal living rooms... which were only used for company. Mama was the typical 60's house-wife - always dressed well and had dinner on the table for my dad when he came home from work. 

Growing up in New Orleans in the 50's and 60's was good. We weren't rich, but dad had a good job and we didn't go without. Life was different then. Integration and segregation was an issue. We lived with it, but being children, we weren't totally aware. Looking back, it's sad how unaware we were. I don't recall mom (or dad) ever commenting on the issue - at least not in front of me. 

But no matter our differences,  I do miss her. She moved in with us here in Texas when she was 80... and lived with us until she was 93. The last few years were difficult as mama was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (which explained a lot in retrospect) and since I was working, eventually went into a 'memory care' unit at at really nice nursing home nearby. However, I regret to this day that I didn't just quit my job and keep her at home with me. Hindsight. I'd visit every day and we'd have tea on the porch. But she was never happy there. Don't think she'd have been even at home, but still... 

Happy Mother's Day Mama! 

disquieting news...

I received a text from a family member recently telling me her son has been diagnosed with cancer. It was caught early and hopefully has not spread. They will know more when they do surgery next week. 

I hate this. Having had my father, sister, and brother die of cancer (and having/had it myself), I know what she (and he) are going through... all that fear and tears, surgeries, chemo, radiation, etc.  Not that long ago my son's father-in-law was diagnosed and passed away within a year.  My good friend's husband  and son both have Melanoma. Probably all of you know someone who has gone through this or perhaps even yourself.  The real issue faced (besides the cancer itself) is fear... and despite the fact that it is a legitimate fear, it has to be faced down and overcome. Fear will destroy you.

I thank God every day that my children and grandchildren are healthy... knowing that at any time this could change... especially as they too age. My children are all in their 40's. My sister was diagnosed when she was 49, died at 51. Brother was diagnosed at 59, died at 59. I was diagnosed at 55... and so far am a 'survivor'. Why? Don't know... guess it was found early enough to stop from spreading?? I still go for my annual check... and after feel that I'm 'good to go' for at least another year.

My mother used to say that children were not supposed to die before their parents. But she had to go through this with 2 of hers (my siblings)... and I wondered at her strength.  Mom never had cancer. But she did develop Alzheimer's in her later years. I have to say that I'm not sure which is worse. 

Anyway, I didn't intend this post to be maudlin. Just needed to get my feelings out.  One little text from a family member brought all these emotions to the surface. 

Please pray for this young man. He lost his father to a heart attack just about 2 years ago... and now this. He needs others' thoughts and prayers. I am a big believer that thoughts and prayers are powerful.

Thanks for reading.