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Friday, September 23, 2022

friends... so many kinds





We all have 'friends'... to different degrees. There's the one or ones we grew up (stayed close or just kept in contact) the ones we met along the way (some clicked, some didn't), work associates (again one or two who may have stayed in contact), and then the neighbors that have come and gone throughout our lives. 

I have only 3 real life friends, one I grew up with in New Orleans who has always been my bff... I know her family, she knows mine, we stood in each other's weddings, etc. She will always be very dear to me. But we don't see each other a lot. We do meet for birthdays and do go out to eat on occasion and text back and forth. I love her and always will. She lost her oldest daughter recently to Cancer. I can't imagine her pain... but we talk about it. 

Then there's my good friend that I met in my 20's here in Texas. Our husbands worked together and our kids were the same ages. We have been friends for over 50 years, took many a road trip together, and spent time in England, Ireland, and France together. Before the pandemic, we met once a week for coffee and talk. Now we have virtual teas and call each other to share what is going on... good and bad. She lost her husband this past year and is dealing with her BC returning and with surgery scheduled next week. I can only be there for her when she needs me. But she can't leave this earth. I need her.

The other one is a room-mate from my college days who lives alone in New Orleans and has a daughter with mental health issues. We are on the opposite side of the political issues, but have the same basic values and beliefs (which is hard to understand, but we agree to disagree there ).  She and I Skype and text... 

And now in this technological age, we have online friends and blog friends. This is a fairly new area and one that has become increasingly interesting... and useful. 

I think having online or blog friends is new territory that is becoming more and more popular... especially with the pandemic and people who live alone.  It also creates an environment which allows one to share things in writing that might be hard to share in words face to face. But of course, like everything else, one must proceed with caution.  Sharing too much personal info is dangerous in today's world.  

I have several online/blog friends that I do consider dear. Out of all that may follow me or those I may follow, there are only a few (probably 4-6) that I love to hear from and am interested in what is going on in your lives. I look for your posts and comments and am worried if I don't hear from you. How about you? Do you feel this way? We may never meet, but I do think of you as real friends and would certainly miss you if you stopped blogging. Sharing my life and your lives has become an integral part of my daily or weekly routine. 




I think it's important to have someone to talk to... whether it be about everyday life, health, or big important world issues. Growing up in the South, I was taught not to talk about religion, politics, or finances... and of course in my day, no one talked about sex. Those were the unwritten rules. Today I don't think there are any rules - except those concerning racial issues whereas anything and everything pertaining to any or all races seems to offend someone.

Not sure what the point of this post is... but I think it was to say that everyone is different and whether you have 3000 followers or 3 friends doesn't matter... if it works for you, then it's all good. (to be honest, I don't know 3000 people, probably don't know more than 30 - we're not terribly social) But I consider myself lucky because besides my 3 real life friends and my blogger friends, I still have DH, my 3 kids, grandkids, and my cousins to keep me in line! 

Something I didn't mention and probably should have are the friends we've lost along the way. With our advancing age, this isn't unexpected, but still hurts deeply and becomes something we must learn to accept - (if this is possible). As time goes by, the losses will only increase. Hopefully our ability to deal with them will get better with time...? 

Closing this now. Didn't mean to run on so. It's Friday so I hope you all have a wonderful cool weekend to enjoy. Fall is finally here! (I even bought some lettuce starts to plant in my veg trug)







Hugs (virtual),

Rian

19 comments:

  1. This was a nice read Rian, and I enjoyed reading about your 3 closest friends. (What you wrote about the second one was very sweet). I agree that online friends and fellow bloggers are becoming more and more a thing in my own life, which frankly I wrestle with a little. I need to balance my virtual relationships a little better with physical ones. Right now that's not happening like I wish it would. Anyway, I am glad I know you and your cool British stove! 🙂👍

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    1. Thanks, Dug. I do consider you one of my blogger friends and look forward to your posts and comments. And I hope you love your new chair as much as I love my Aga!

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  2. I loved this post, Rian. And I was reminded that I still hadn't downloaded book 2 of your Annie series so I went right over to Amazon and got it on my Kindle. And then I started reading and forgot I hadn 't commented yet. You are one of my virtual friends that I cherish every single day.

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    1. Thanks so much, DJan for ordering Carrick Cove. I sure hope you enjoy it. And I think we've been virtual friends for a long time... or it seems so to me.

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  3. You are so very right about friendship. I am immensely fond of the blog friends I have made. Some of them I have met in the flesh, and others I almost certainly never will, but they are treasured. Immeasurably.
    Have a wonderful weekend.

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    1. EC, I have never met any of my blog friends, but like you, I do treasure them.

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  4. I've been lucky to find a few dear friends at various stages of my life. Most of us have drifted apart, but when that happens, people you need at the time (and who need you too) seem to come along.

    I have to say that I would be lost without some blog connections, as I find it increasingly hard to live in the middle of the country alone, with family on the east and west coasts and my closest friends at a distance. I have what I would call good acquaintances here, or casual friends if you were, but no close ties.

    The other plus with blogging or cyber connections is that you can reach out to people who have experienced what you are going through, or who have experience with a particular health issue (human or non-human). This has been tremendous for me.

    Take care and have a lovely weekend.

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    1. Kim, you are so right about the reaching out and sharing experiences - with health issues (human or non-human) or any other issues. I too find this very helpful.

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  5. Yes we do have many types of friends. I have one of those very long time friends from the second grade. We swapped emails today. I agree, our blog friends have helped us get past this Covid isolation. I feel for those who don't have them. I am so grateful for them.
    I did finish Carrick Cove and loved it. I left my review on Amazon. You always write about the nicest people that you would want for neighbors. Wouldn't mind having Jimmie to cook for me:)

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    1. Patti, I'm so glad you have a friend from second grade. Those we grew up with share precious memories of our childhood days. But all friends share something... and sharing creates a bond that enriches our lives.
      And I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed reading Carrick Cove. And yes, I would like Jimmie to cook for me too!

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  6. Your friends sound as lovely as you are Rian. I don't read and comment on blogs unless I enjoy reading them - though there are a few I lurk on just to keep up with their happenings for some reason or another. Some have diametrically opposing beliefs to my own but it's not only good for me to read different perspectives but it reminds me we all have more in common than we realize.

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    1. We do all have a lot more in common than we realize, Mae. And yes, some have very different beliefs but thank God we are not all exactly alike or all want the same things. I have found though that many do want the same things, but have different ideas as to how to go about getting there. And I have to admit that I don't comment on all the blogs I read. I do try to always comment on the few I take an active interest in. But there are weeks when life gets busy and I miss reading even those.

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  7. It's wonderful to have a network of blogger buddies that I consider part of my cyber family. I have a few friends from my childhood that I cherish and a group of teacher buddies from the Illinois school I taught at with whom we keep up an ongoing text conversation. I also have several friends from tai chi that we hang out with. I used to also have a group of Zumba buddies, but once the pandemic shut everything down, that ended which was really sad. I guess that was the only thing keeping us together. However, I love the friends I see on blogger and like you, am always heartbroken when one leaves us. I just expect everyone to live forever. Sigh...

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    1. Kay, I've always wanted to take Tai Chi. I know it's harder than it looks. I think it takes balance and strength - neither good with me. And I too love my blogger/cyber friends and look forward to their posts each week. And I love that you live in Hawaii - loved my one and only visit to Oahu when my son lived there. Those secluded lava beaches took my breath away.

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  8. Really enjoyed your post on friends. Blogging friends are the best! I just love so many I've met through blogging. I've never had lasting friendships like those you wrote about. Just recently, back in May, I invited a neighbor up for coffee. We have lived near each other for 16 years and just waved or briefly spoke when she would drive past my garden. We met for coffee a couple of time, then decided to take line dancing classes together. We have had so much fun, that one day a week, we go to lunch, then line dancing. Best friend I've had in years!

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    1. Henny, that's so great about your neighbor and now good friend! Blogging friends are wonderful, but nice to be able to share a real coffee with a friend on occasion.

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  9. college roomates are near and dear...hopefully in our lives forever. mine is. i look forward to your posts, i think we have a lot in common. sometimes when i post, i am hoping you will see it, i think you will enjoy it!!

    i enjoy your comments and i am happy we met!! let's stay friends!!

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    1. Debbie, I do think we have a lot in common too... and I'm always looking for your posts and comments. I enjoy reading about your life and think you have a wonderful positive attitude about everything - something that makes a big difference in our lives.

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    2. thanks sharon!!

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